Happy 6th Anniversary!

Happy 6th Anniversary to the love of my life! I can’t believe it has already been six years!

 
Dave - The last six years have been full of amazing adventures and I’m so lucky to have shared them with you. From date nights, camping trips, hikes, vacations, moving, growing our family to everyday mundane happenings, everything is so much better because you are with me.

I’m so glad our family grew this past year and that I can finally fulfill this part of my wedding vows:
“As we are blessed of God with children, I will strive to bring them up in the love and wisdom of God, as Jesus Christ is the most important person in our lives, because He gave us life.”

Happy Anniversary, Dave! Here’s to many, many more! I love you!

Happy 5th Anniversary!

Five years ago I married my best friend. And today I love him more than I ever have.

I look back on our special day five years ago and I can remember every happening and detail. It seems like it was just last year that we were saying “I do”, but it has been half of a decade. Time has flown by so fast!

We have already conquered a lot together and I can’t wait to see what is in store for us in the years to come!

Happy 5th Anniversary, Dave! I love you!

Sacred Marriage, Chapter 4

I have linked up with Jenn to do an online study of the book, Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas. Every two weeks we will be posting our thoughts and reactions to a new chapter in the book. This week, Chapter 4.

Chapter four talked abut the need to respect and honor others - and how marriage teaches this to us… or at least presents a million opportunities for us to practice.

“The difficulty with honoring our spouse is that it calls us to adopt attitudes and actions that go far beyond merely saying that we won’t dishonor him or her… Honor isn’t passive, it’s active.”

I think this again calls us to go above and beyond for our spouses. Like Gary pointed out in the last chapter, it is not about us but about sacrificing our needs for our spouse’s. It is not enough just to not do something to annoy them or dishonor them, I think we should try a little harder to do something to show them that we honor and respect them.

“We’re not married in a carefree Garden of Eden. We’re married in the midst of many responsibilities that compete for our energy.”

Working at honoring and respecting our spouses is hard work, but “the real world” can drain us of energy and enthusiasm and sometimes we fail or are just too tired to put in the extra effort - or any effort at all. As spouses we need to remember not to be too hard on ourselves, but also remember that our spouses are human and may not be able to live up to our expectations. Understanding this gives us empathy for each other.

“If we assume that our spouse has the hardest road to travel and that we miss the mark most frequently—and then act accordingly—we’ll find a mix that’s just about right.”

When we try our best to put our spouses needs above our own and we act accordingly, it seems that things seem to work themselves out. I know this is easier said than done, but I think it is doable.

I’m looking forward to chapter five!

Sacred Marriage, Chapter 3

I have linked up with Jenn to do an online study of the book, Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas. Every two weeks we will be posting our thoughts and reactions to a new chapter in the book. This week, Chapter 3.

I’ll keep with my theme of sharing some quotes the stood out to me and then comment. Sound good? Here we go…

“God doesn’t command us to get married; he offers it to us as an opportunity. Once we enter the marriage relationship, we cannot love God without loving our spouse as well.”

If we can’t love our spouses, how can we uphold Jesus’ calling to love the unlovable and our enemies?

“There are legions of books published every year that teach us how to care for ourselves. As our society becomes increasingly fractured, there is a virtual obsession with looking out for ourselves, standing up for ourselves, and bettering ourselves. This emphasis on meeting our own needs can become ridiculous. You need only consider the book I once saw advertised that was titled, Sex for One: The Joy of Self-Loving. While our society has become expert in self-care, we seemingly have lost the art of caring for others. Sacrifice has taken on such negative connotations that people fear being a “codependent” more than they fear being perceived as selfish. And yet Scripture says in effect, “Make your wife happy. Sacrifice yourself daily. You’ll find your life only when you first lose it.”

I’ve heard people say that “you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else”. That may be true to some degree, but what if when we were feeling down or crappy or in need of “me time” we refocused and did something for our spouse? What if our efforts to take care of them first was reciprocated and they, in turn, did something for us? How awesome would it be if “me time” turned into “we time” and we could do things for each other, together? I admit I am totally guilty of putting myself first far too often, but I think I’ll try harder to purposefully do something for Dave first and then see what happens. Care to join me?

“We need to be called out of ourselves because, in truth, we are incomplete. God made us to find our fulfillment in him—the Totally Other. Marriage shows us that we are not all there is; it calls us to give way to another, but also to find joy, happiness, and even ecstasy in another.”

This just reminds me of the tagline from this book: “What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?” Maybe if we strive to be more Holy and serve God through out marriages we will be more happy. Hmmm…

I am really loving this book! Can’t wait for Chapter 4! Have a great week everyone!

Sacred Marriage, Chapter 2

I have linked up with Jenn to do an online study of the book, Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas. Every two weeks we will be posting our thoughts and reactions to a new chapter in the book. This week, Chapter 2.

Again, I am amazed by this book. It is providing me a new perspective on life, marriage and Faith and I am really enjoying it! This chapter talked about the similarities between God’s relationship with the church (and us) and our relationship with our spouse. Both relationships are loving, forgiving and require selflessness, commitment and communication. interesting, isn’t it? I thought I’d share some more quotes and thoughts as I read this chapter.

“If we are consumed with highlighting where our spouses are falling short, we will miss the divine mysteries and the lessons it has to teach us.”

James 3:2 tells us that – “we all stumble in many ways” – and I think it important to remember that nobody is perfect. When we focus on negatives of our spouse, that all we begin to see. I was in a situation once where I was with a group of people where they griped and complained about their spouses all of the time. You know how it goes: “Husband never does (fill in the blank)” or “I know he does (fill in the blank) just to make me mad” or “I can’t believe the he (fill in the blank)!”. Eventually, and I can’t explain why, I started to join in on the spouse bashing. Pretty soon I was more angry and frustrated with my marriage than I had ever been before - and for no good reason. It was almost as if I was only focused on the negatives (that really weren’t so bad) and it made everything else seem bad too. When I realized what I was doing and stopped, even started saying a positive thing my husband did every time someone else would say something negative, my marriage got a lot better and I wasn’t frustrated any more. Nobody is perfect, but if all you focus on is the imperfections, it all seems to start crumbling down.

“Will we approach marriage from a God-centered view or a man-centered view? In a man-centered view, we will maintain our marriage as long as our earthly comforts, desires, and expectations are met. In a God-centered view, we preserve our marriage because it brings glory to God and points a sinful world to a reconciling Creator.”

“The first purpose in marriage - beyond happiness, sexual expression, the bearing of children, companionship, mutual care and provision, or anything else - is to please God. The challenge, of course, is that it is utterly selfless living; rather than asking, “What will make me happy?” we are told that we must ask, “What will make God happy?’

This really pointed out to me how selfish we all can be. If you are in a marriage as long as you are happy, then it really isn’t a partnership, is it? When God becomes the focus of your marriage and you and your spouse seek to serve him, then the marriage is about that and not about either of you. Interesting to view it that way and strive towards that.

Ok, that’s it for this week. Thanks for reading along, and if you are looking for a book to give you a new perspective on marriage and life, this is a great one. I can’t wait for Chapter three!

Sacred Marriage, Chapter 1

I have linked up with Jenn to do an online study of the book, Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas. Every two weeks we will be posting our thoughts and reactions to a new chapter in the book. This week, Chapter 1

Wow, I don’t know what exactly I expected from this book but what I read wasn’t what I thought I expected. It was better! I was really excited about what I read and was reading passages out loud to Dave. My Kindle is full of highlighted passages and I’m excited to share just a few of the things that stood out to me.

“To spiritually benefit from marriage, we have to be honest. We have to look at our disappointments, own up to our ugly attitudes, and confront our selfishness. We also have to rid ourselves of the notion that the difficulties of marriage can be overcome if we simply pray harder or learn a few simple principles.”

Um, wow. Reality check.

“We can run from the challenges of marriage… or we can admit that every marriage presents these challenges and asks us to address them head-on. If we find that the same kinds of challenges face every marriage, we might assume that God designed a purpose in this challenge that transcends something as illusory as happiness.”

There is a higher purpose than only happiness in our marriage and we are all challenged to get there. I like the idea that we all face challenges in marriage and that we are not alone or isolated in our challenges. How awesome is it that we are sort of all in this together, even in our individual marriages?!?

“But what both of us crave more than anything else is to be intimately close to the God who made us. If that relationship is right, we won’t make such severe demands on our marriage, asking each other, expecting each other, to compensate for spiritual emptiness.”

Again, wow. The words just spoke to me. God is #1 and if that isn’t how it is in our own lives, nothing else will fill that void for us.

I’m looking forward to continue reading this book, to seeking and being a support for others facing the challenges that God gives to them to make them and their relationships, with him and their spouse, stronger.

Thanks for sharing in my journey!

Blogging Bible Study

Have you ever read Jenn's blog, Knee-Deep In Munchkin Land? Well, if not, you should. But besides being a great blogger, rock star blog designer and great friend she is also starting a blogging/twitter bible study. Isn't that a great idea?!?

I have signed up to participate and I am so excited to read Sacred Marriage with a group of (what seems to be) wonderful women! We will be reading a chapter every two weeks, blogging about the chapter we read, meeting up on Twitter to chat about the book, then post our prayer requests in a private Facebook group.

Sound like fun to you? Head over to Jenn's blog post about the study for more details and to sign up. I hope you'll join us!