Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Sacred Marriage, Chapter 3

I have linked up with Jenn to do an online study of the book, Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas. Every two weeks we will be posting our thoughts and reactions to a new chapter in the book. This week, Chapter 3.

I’ll keep with my theme of sharing some quotes the stood out to me and then comment. Sound good? Here we go…

“God doesn’t command us to get married; he offers it to us as an opportunity. Once we enter the marriage relationship, we cannot love God without loving our spouse as well.”

If we can’t love our spouses, how can we uphold Jesus’ calling to love the unlovable and our enemies?

“There are legions of books published every year that teach us how to care for ourselves. As our society becomes increasingly fractured, there is a virtual obsession with looking out for ourselves, standing up for ourselves, and bettering ourselves. This emphasis on meeting our own needs can become ridiculous. You need only consider the book I once saw advertised that was titled, Sex for One: The Joy of Self-Loving. While our society has become expert in self-care, we seemingly have lost the art of caring for others. Sacrifice has taken on such negative connotations that people fear being a “codependent” more than they fear being perceived as selfish. And yet Scripture says in effect, “Make your wife happy. Sacrifice yourself daily. You’ll find your life only when you first lose it.”

I’ve heard people say that “you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else”. That may be true to some degree, but what if when we were feeling down or crappy or in need of “me time” we refocused and did something for our spouse? What if our efforts to take care of them first was reciprocated and they, in turn, did something for us? How awesome would it be if “me time” turned into “we time” and we could do things for each other, together? I admit I am totally guilty of putting myself first far too often, but I think I’ll try harder to purposefully do something for Dave first and then see what happens. Care to join me?

“We need to be called out of ourselves because, in truth, we are incomplete. God made us to find our fulfillment in him—the Totally Other. Marriage shows us that we are not all there is; it calls us to give way to another, but also to find joy, happiness, and even ecstasy in another.”

This just reminds me of the tagline from this book: “What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?” Maybe if we strive to be more Holy and serve God through out marriages we will be more happy. Hmmm…

I am really loving this book! Can’t wait for Chapter 4! Have a great week everyone!


  1. That second quote stood out to me so much. I don't want to say, "Oh, I'm not at all an independent woman." Because, I have been independent, but I chose to now share my life with someone else, and it's now our decisions, not just mine, and we time (that was really cute) instead of just me time. And, for some reason that seems to be looked down on. I am having such a hard time taking this book a chapter at a time! I want to just plow ahead and read the whole thing! But, that would make the whole blog about it thing more difficult. lol

  2. My fiancé and I are going through this book right now and these are such good thoughts! Thanks for sharing!

    Love and Blessings,


Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!