I have linked up with Jenn to do an online study of the book, Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas. Every two weeks we will be posting our thoughts and reactions to a new chapter in the book. This week, Chapter 4.
Chapter four talked abut the need to respect and honor others - and how marriage teaches this to us… or at least presents a million opportunities for us to practice.
“The difficulty with honoring our spouse is that it calls us to adopt attitudes and actions that go far beyond merely saying that we won’t dishonor him or her… Honor isn’t passive, it’s active.”
I think this again calls us to go above and beyond for our spouses. Like Gary pointed out in the last chapter, it is not about us but about sacrificing our needs for our spouse’s. It is not enough just to not do something to annoy them or dishonor them, I think we should try a little harder to do something to show them that we honor and respect them.
“We’re not married in a carefree Garden of Eden. We’re married in the midst of many responsibilities that compete for our energy.”
Working at honoring and respecting our spouses is hard work, but “the real world” can drain us of energy and enthusiasm and sometimes we fail or are just too tired to put in the extra effort - or any effort at all. As spouses we need to remember not to be too hard on ourselves, but also remember that our spouses are human and may not be able to live up to our expectations. Understanding this gives us empathy for each other.
“If we assume that our spouse has the hardest road to travel and that we miss the mark most frequently—and then act accordingly—we’ll find a mix that’s just about right.”
When we try our best to put our spouses needs above our own and we act accordingly, it seems that things seem to work themselves out. I know this is easier said than done, but I think it is doable.
I’m looking forward to chapter five!