Sacred Marriage, Chapter 4

I have linked up with Jenn to do an online study of the book, Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas. Every two weeks we will be posting our thoughts and reactions to a new chapter in the book. This week, Chapter 4.

Chapter four talked abut the need to respect and honor others - and how marriage teaches this to us… or at least presents a million opportunities for us to practice.

“The difficulty with honoring our spouse is that it calls us to adopt attitudes and actions that go far beyond merely saying that we won’t dishonor him or her… Honor isn’t passive, it’s active.”

I think this again calls us to go above and beyond for our spouses. Like Gary pointed out in the last chapter, it is not about us but about sacrificing our needs for our spouse’s. It is not enough just to not do something to annoy them or dishonor them, I think we should try a little harder to do something to show them that we honor and respect them.

“We’re not married in a carefree Garden of Eden. We’re married in the midst of many responsibilities that compete for our energy.”

Working at honoring and respecting our spouses is hard work, but “the real world” can drain us of energy and enthusiasm and sometimes we fail or are just too tired to put in the extra effort - or any effort at all. As spouses we need to remember not to be too hard on ourselves, but also remember that our spouses are human and may not be able to live up to our expectations. Understanding this gives us empathy for each other.

“If we assume that our spouse has the hardest road to travel and that we miss the mark most frequently—and then act accordingly—we’ll find a mix that’s just about right.”

When we try our best to put our spouses needs above our own and we act accordingly, it seems that things seem to work themselves out. I know this is easier said than done, but I think it is doable.

I’m looking forward to chapter five!

Sacred Marriage, Chapter 3

I have linked up with Jenn to do an online study of the book, Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas. Every two weeks we will be posting our thoughts and reactions to a new chapter in the book. This week, Chapter 3.

I’ll keep with my theme of sharing some quotes the stood out to me and then comment. Sound good? Here we go…

“God doesn’t command us to get married; he offers it to us as an opportunity. Once we enter the marriage relationship, we cannot love God without loving our spouse as well.”

If we can’t love our spouses, how can we uphold Jesus’ calling to love the unlovable and our enemies?

“There are legions of books published every year that teach us how to care for ourselves. As our society becomes increasingly fractured, there is a virtual obsession with looking out for ourselves, standing up for ourselves, and bettering ourselves. This emphasis on meeting our own needs can become ridiculous. You need only consider the book I once saw advertised that was titled, Sex for One: The Joy of Self-Loving. While our society has become expert in self-care, we seemingly have lost the art of caring for others. Sacrifice has taken on such negative connotations that people fear being a “codependent” more than they fear being perceived as selfish. And yet Scripture says in effect, “Make your wife happy. Sacrifice yourself daily. You’ll find your life only when you first lose it.”

I’ve heard people say that “you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else”. That may be true to some degree, but what if when we were feeling down or crappy or in need of “me time” we refocused and did something for our spouse? What if our efforts to take care of them first was reciprocated and they, in turn, did something for us? How awesome would it be if “me time” turned into “we time” and we could do things for each other, together? I admit I am totally guilty of putting myself first far too often, but I think I’ll try harder to purposefully do something for Dave first and then see what happens. Care to join me?

“We need to be called out of ourselves because, in truth, we are incomplete. God made us to find our fulfillment in him—the Totally Other. Marriage shows us that we are not all there is; it calls us to give way to another, but also to find joy, happiness, and even ecstasy in another.”

This just reminds me of the tagline from this book: “What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?” Maybe if we strive to be more Holy and serve God through out marriages we will be more happy. Hmmm…

I am really loving this book! Can’t wait for Chapter 4! Have a great week everyone!

Blogging Bible Study

Have you ever read Jenn's blog, Knee-Deep In Munchkin Land? Well, if not, you should. But besides being a great blogger, rock star blog designer and great friend she is also starting a blogging/twitter bible study. Isn't that a great idea?!?

I have signed up to participate and I am so excited to read Sacred Marriage with a group of (what seems to be) wonderful women! We will be reading a chapter every two weeks, blogging about the chapter we read, meeting up on Twitter to chat about the book, then post our prayer requests in a private Facebook group.

Sound like fun to you? Head over to Jenn's blog post about the study for more details and to sign up. I hope you'll join us!